Ciao

Dancing in Bluefields was very nice. I love to dance and now there is reggae inside my heart. Starting when the RASTA boy in the restaurant handed over his dear necklace and heart to me and said RASTA I felt the real reason to feel a pasta. There is a pot leaf tattoo and in my heart I am pasta.

RASTA. not pasta. But it is all one  we are all one.



THANKS MARIA CONDOLENCES FOR YOUR GENTLE KIND NATURE I LOVE YOU YOU FEISTY GODDESS OF SHARING AND TEACHING THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA MUAH KISS YOU ALL LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE


it's not weird to be back because life is constant change. But Nicaragua has better food, weather, and flora.

I have diarrhea. <3

Had an amazing day. This week has been very magical and spiritual ~ (the whole trip has been- but we are at a point where we are so connected. Ira, Emma, Carrie, and I are growing so much and I love them so so soso so sosososososooo much from day 1 but now it's like, I have interwoven with them in a way that is forever.

I am very grateful for the opportunities that granted me the chance to come here. I am thankful that Maria Gabriela organized and invited us here. Everything happens for a reason, the universe is driving us. It is really special to be four women on a journey together because though this is a moment in our own individual spiritual paths, we are very powerful and being around three magical vibrant and very unique women is incredibly powerful.

Last night I struggled to explain my independent project, but I very solidly know that it is an amorphous and indefinite creature extending from myself.
     I am here as my AUTHENTIC SELF and I am learning so much.

Today we went to the nature reserve this morning. I felt immediately refreshed. Being in plants and bamboo meditating and walking barefoot among the tropical plant and animal life is so natural. It brings me closer in tune to the frequency of peace and love that I try always to radiate. We ate breakfast which was delicious bread and brie and cucumber and tomato, and yogurt with honey. We rode on the bed of a truck to this mountain which was INSANE. So vast and grand and mountains and rainforest and cows everywhere rocks. I flew around and sprinted down hills and we ate fruits. We got to the house beyond these fences of triangles that stood black against a blue sky and mountains and trees and lush fields of green tropical grass. This world is so fertile and magnificent. We are in paradise. We got to this house and a woman came out and greeted us with kisses and loving eyes. Two pink piggies perfectly played, though we pined for their freedom from the shit covered cage that confined their soft bodies and forced them to grow to the size of man's dinner and a shit covered trough.
Soon an old man withered with work came out of his house and abounded with quirk and his hair was white and flew from his face in a fluffy explosion that exuded gentle grace. He gave us a notepad, requested our names, invited us to take fruits from the graves of great giants he showed how he worked he had dreamed that god told his human form to carve stone. He shared many poems and abounded with light he was godly and glorious and humble and sleight. We walked through the forest a tropical tome of love and abundance it was his natural home. There were pineapples growing from bushes in the ground he would reach and grab a couple to pass around there were banana trees teeming with fruit, 30 feet high, red and black, silky vortex .
    We climbed this mountain with carved stone murals and beings . I can't explain how incredible it was it was very very very sacred and magical n we sat out on this mountain of carved stone on a mountain side and saw the world. I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS MAGIC INSIDE OF ME AND I AM IN LOVE WITH NICARAGUA.

aaaa

Twin flames. A spirit lady told me I'd be introduced to my twin flame in the "next 28 days." I met him and it was weird because my issues surfaced.

Root Chakra

At the end of our stay in Limay I got really sick. The day before last, I wasn't feeling excellent but we went to the river and I wanted to go. On the walk there I vomited and diarrhead. At the river I was okay and had fun climbing rocks and talking to Mario and eating cucumbers and splashing around, but I started to feel sick again. We went to the ceramic women's studio to pick up our beads and I made a bracelet which I gave to Ken and a necklace which afterwards became a gift to Rosa. I walked home earlier than some others because it was taking a long time and I was feeling really sick. We went to Dona Nedia's but I couldn't eat. She gave me a lemon juice and salt elixir which maybe helped. I got home and Idalia was suffering from dolor in her head. We were sick together and Rosa took care of us... Sweet goddess. I played a little with Juliana who I love so so so sosososososososo much. They gave me some medicines and stuff but I felt bad. I had a fever at points and was really sick. I fell asleep for a while but was woken up by Rosa and she told me I was very hot and she looked really concerned and tried to feed me. I was very dehydrated feeling and hadn't eaten all day and had just woken up so I was a little disoriented and Rosa and Idalia speak very fast spanish so I never really understood them anyway but I was especially slow at this time. They try to feed me plantain chips which are covered in salt and I had a large canker sore in my mouth so it really hurt to eat these and I was thirsty with limited water so that was challenging and I didn't want to eat the chips. I asked if there was a tortilla so I ate two tortillas but as this is happening Rosa and Idalia are very concerned and start asking about hospitals and my fever and if I need a hospital and I'm like uhhhhh I can't understand no entiendo blah but so sick. At this point I'm like, hey I need Maria because I can't even talk to a doctor if I get there. They tell me Maria is at Oscar's so Juliana and Idalia start walking me and I'm dizzy and delirious. We get to Oscar's and I see Carrie and I'm like hello I need Maria. I walk to the back and there is our whole group and their host parents and Noel and Willford and Klifford and Mariela and Fabiola and Wilfredo etc etc. I sit in a seat and am just like okay. 

The next morning I'm fed some constipators and put on a bus where thankfully I fall asleep for the duration of the ride. When in Estelli, I go to see a doctor. He tells me I'm dehydrated and orders for a blood and poop test. I am constipated and cannot poop, but I stick my vain out for the lady and have the quickest easiest most painless blood sample retrieval withdrawal of my life. It's ready in like ten minutes but I pay and return the next day. I bring my caca and the results are ready in twenty minutes. I have no parasites but an abundance of bacteria swarms my system. Ugh. I start taking some meds.

At this time we are familiarizing ourselves with some Spiritual Skaters in the city. Emma meets an amazing and mystical man named Techi and through him a crew of love. I am feeling better in a day and join her at the skate palace. I karaoke with them and ride crosslegged on the front of a board while we zip through the city. 

The next day though, I go to Cafe Luz with Techi, Emma, and a Californian Mexican boarder named Jordan. We start talking about Holistic medicine and he teaches me that it is just changing your frequencies to attract certain things you need to get more balanced. Ohhhh makes sense!!!!! He asks if I've been sick recently/when the last time I was sick was because it's all just related to your chakras and energy and I tell him about my upset tummy. He says that's my root chakra. I realize he is very right. (I'm pretty sure this is after the gallery show which was fine but left me feeling very very crazy and energetic and I had to leave in the end because I was so whoaooooaoooooooo crazyyyyyyyy)

The next day, our final night in Estelli, I go to Cafe Luz with Emma, Techi, Eduard, Mario, Jordan, and Ira. Emma and Eduard go do art elsewhere while I sit with the rest. Earlier that day I'd asked Carrie, Ira, and Emma to perform reiki on my stomach and root chakra. As I'm sitting there in Cafe Luz, I see a woman performing reiki on a man's head at the table next to us. I leave for a bit to see Emma and Eduard and when I come back the man and woman are sitting at our table with us and more people who had joined. I sit at the empty seat which is next to the man and woman. We are talking, they are Sandra and Jean-Pierre and they are from Ireland and Belgium and they have a farm in Nicaragua. She looks at me and says that my root chakra is troubled. She tells me all my energy is up here, and indicates my crown and third eye chakras (which makes sense that is why I'd been airy and floaty and wowowoowowooooooo). She says "You need to be grounded, it's all in the feet. Your energy is all up here which can be dangerous, you need protection when you're like this. The city makes you crazy. You need to be in nature. Dance barefoot in blue fields. " She then rubs my feet and gives them energy healing for a long time. She tells me I'm a healer and that I'll come back and live at their farm one day and I'll be doing her feet. She says I need to wake up for sunrise and do dirt-dances by sticking my fingers in the dirt. They teach me about how the Romans created the deserts of North Africa with their farming and she says we can't heal the earth but we can stop the deserts. She tells me it may seem boring but I need to work on my root chakra for the next few years. Like a musician practicing a single note I need to practice this rooting. 

Teaching

I taught a workshop lesson on mask making. I expected that it would be pretty libre and unstructured. It was very successful!!!!!!!
There were gems and google eyes and pipe cleaners and paint and markers and comic books for collage and everyone just had at it.

Prior to the lesson, I'd made a mask of my own and found it incredibly satisfying and fun and freeing. When I wore it, all inhibitions slid away (everything was just fun and giggles.)
The sunday before the monday lesson, Ira and I stayed in Maria and Aleks's castle. They left for a hike so we locked ourselves in their grassy tropical outdoor casa and got naked! Ira made a mask and we took nude pictures on their beds "scissors" with the masks on. (Just kidding !!!! hahahahaha !!) we ran around their property and took pics.

Everyone loved making masks so much (I was excited by how creative everyone got and how different each mask was) that I was invited to teach the lesson at the elementary school. Wow!

The next day, Alvaro, Ken, and I went to the school with materials and "taught" again. Both times were not really teaching so much as experiencing and learning. I placed all the materials on a table at the front of the classroom because all the students were sitting at little desks facing the front. Alvaro was the interpreter though this environment called more for gesturing than speaking with an interpreter because it was higher energy and less focused. The teachers sat at the back and it was fully my lesson. Ken and Alvaro put the masks I'd cut out in front of each student and we had them sign their names. Alvaro interpreted their needs and told all the students to come up based on their rows to get materials. Soon it was a free for all. I wandered around with my mask on and gave people thumbs up's and materials they asked for, but it was really a process of creation for the students. I admired how they grouped up, some of them on the floor, and some turning their desks into a small circle. That was something I learned: to have them turn desks into circles for better sharing materials.... Very inspiring. Right after we started they announced recess. Every student stayed to work though and others joined. Afterwards there were no materials left. It was like a pack of hungry wolves eating a few birds and bunnies. I was impressed by the way each student who had finished helped to pick up trash from the floor and return their materials though I didn't care if they kept them or not. Even one of the teachers, Herty's grandmother, made a mask. In the end we took a group picture. Ken suggested I get everyone riled up so I hopped up and started making loud noises and inviting students to stand up and run around the group which was huddled together and we shouted things. Very fun.

As we left, more students who had been watching outside followed us and asked to make masks. A young boy said he wanted a mask so I handed him mine.

During my time in Limay I observed some of the hardest working individuals I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. Oscar works six out of the seven days, from morning until night in the Marmolina studio. Xiomar gets up at six every morning to milk the cows and then spends the rest of his day taking care of the animals and taking on the responsibilities of another parent in the house. Dona Nidia cooks all day to feed us delicious, traditionally Nicaraguan meals while taking care of her daughter, granddaughters, great-grandchildren and the rest of her family in the house whose relation I am not quite sure of. The other day we went to the ceramicists’ house to watch how they dye the red clay beads black. The process involves placing the beads in a pan over a hot fire, and then covering the beads with cedar chips that are then set aflame. The one of the ceramicists (sadly whose name I do not know, but she appears to be the leader) stirs the flaming chips in with the beads. The small room where this takes place is fills with a thin layer of smoke, but by the fire the smoke is much more dense. She keeps stirring the beads, now with a handkerchief with a crossbones pattern around her face. I can’t image how damaging it can be to your lungs, and how much these women end up sacrificing for their work. They are sometimes unable to work because of the high cost of importing the clay they work with. These humans all work so hard to live quite simply, and their positivity radiates through out the community.