Wednesday, August 1, 2012

the faultiest ceremony


It takes everything I’ve got to keep the surge of tears in my lungs as the pig’s bawls ricochet off every corrugated metal wall. A sensory weapon more than a cry for help, the swine scream boils my heart. How am I letting this creature suffer so?
The weapon of untruth: this pig’s temper tantrum is all for a little injection behind the earhandle. A shot of vitamins for mas grande. Keep those porky pants on til December, Babe.

The real death rattle stared me in the face today, and my camera stared right back. In three moments of the faultiest ceremony, three weres became weren’ts. In just one simple instant animal became corpse with nothing more than a few twitches of flicked blood and the tightened face muscles of four foreigners. Now meat, now flesh, now object: no longer a problem – and that is the problem. How can a transition so monumental in my life, be, nothing? And my only answer is the clicking of the shutter, documenting the would-be intimacy of life-loss and the desecration of their corporeal temple.



I feel no rush of emotion as I did when two boys tore at each other’s shirts in fury, or when the dog tumbled in the air, yanked upwards by its hind leg. Minute events brimming with feeling. But the somber murder photo shoot’s lack is what plunged a slow burning in my stomach.



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