A 5am Realization

My alram didn't go off, and I wasn't even planing it, but when I turned over and opened my eyes at 5:15 this morning something told me to get out of bed. Thinking about it now, it was probably my grandmom. She loved the beach! As kids we spent every summer at a shore house with her for the month of August. Something tells me it was her who made me go on this trip.

The sun changes so quickly in the morning, and it reminded me of myself on this trip. I too had to change quickly to fit in with what was going on around me. The beginning was rough for me but this morning as I walked along the Pacific coastline, I realized wasn't afraid of Nicaragua anymore. It feels like a new home, a new part of who I am and that change happened quickly, before I could even see it happening.

Half of our group flys out tomorrow while the rest of us are here for one more night. I'm torn. Half of me can't wait to get on a plane and head back home, but the other half of me is set in confusion. Nicaragua feels so much like home to me that that half doesn't want to leave. There's so much more to see and do, so much more to learn from this place. I never thought I would have this conflict, but now that I'm having it, I'm glad. It makes me feel that I learned something about myself here. And I know that's why my grandmother always told me to travel, she knew that I would grow and flourish from it before I had even thought about stepping foot outside of my comfort zone. I'm thankful for her encouragement and for the opportunity to have spent five long, intensive weeks in Nicaragua. By being here I've learned that my life isn't over if the power goes out, get outside and look at the stars dammit! Nicaragua has tought to me to stop fussing over things that are outside of my control. Just like the sun, I have to rise and fall no matter what the day brings.