An Fluid Writing of Reaction

It has been two days since I officially landed back in the states, still in a constant turbulent motion of the return. This has been the first chance I have had to just sit and think and it is a bit overwhelming. I will be getting back on a plane on Monday (today is Friday) to head to family on the west coast, accompanied by one of my best friends, and I am still in the process of figuring out how to tell my experiences to whomever wants to listen. What do I share and what do I choose to keep to myself? In the silence I keep today I am able to reflect how keeping busy has allowed me a safe space from my thoughts for now. Making my way from airport, to doctor's appointments, then answering the millions of questions my parents have for me, I haven't had much time to sit with the affects of my re-admittance into the society we call "home". I find it easy to move back into the fast-paced existence of the United States because it requires little thought. I can now understand the conversations people are having and I am able to navigate my way through this world without any second thoughts, following rules that have been set by a government with the intentions they will be followed, along with consequences prepared for those who chose to break them and scattered throughout the country through simple signage thrown up on walls and barriers of concrete and metal. It feels much colder here and time is made into something more than what nature originally intended. As connected as I feel to this place, there is a major disconnect I am feeling as well (as only to be expected from living in such opposite cultures) and it isn't necessarily a bad one. It is a feeling of confusion within myself and how I will continue to move forward, which will inevitably happen whether or not I am ready. Simple things like our plumbing system, along with the vast amounts of foods we are presented, to the air conditioning flooding our buildings are all small things that keep hitting me like a ton of bricks, reminding me of changes I have endured within my own being. I am not scared, but highly interested in see where these new insights will lead me and excited to find solutions for each of these newfound obstacles within the culture that was once one with which I didn't have as many questions for.